When you break up with someone, there’s usually one person who’s more affected by the breakup than the other.
They’ve lost the connection, and they’re trying to figure out how to get it back.
The other person will still have affection toward their ex, but they’ll probably be processing the emotions differently than their ex is.
As a result, this could mean that they’ll try and maintain contact with their former lover to rekindle any embers burning in their hearts.
They might come up with reasons to see you again or talk on the phone regularly so that your relationship doesn’t die completely when it ends.
On top of that, if the breakup hurts this particular individual, they may find comfort in having someone else around who understands their situation (i.e., you).
It’s hard to understand why some people keep coming back into your life.
It could be because of the heartbreak you both share, the fun moments you had together, or the feeling of missed opportunities.
It doesn’t matter what the reason is, but when someone keeps coming back into your life there are meanings behind it which will discuss in this article.
15 Meanings For When Someone Keeps Coming Back Into Your Life
1. They’re lonely
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it could be because they are lonely.
You may have been convenient for them at the moment.
They needed someone to hang out with, and you were always around.
It may not be that they want something serious with you but just a distraction from their regular life.
If they keep showing up in your world, that is a good sign that they don’t want to be alone and want you to give them attention.
2. They don’t know what they want
If a person keeps appearing in your life but never commits to anything serious with you, remember that they are probably unsure what they want.
They may simply be unsure if they want another relationship at all.
Or they may know that they want one but not sure if that’s with you.
Or perhaps it is with you, but this person has so many other options on the table that it’s hard for them to focus just on you.
In any case, you need to have boundaries and realize where things stand—or don’t stand—with them and let go of any fantasies about what might happen in the future.
It’s not going to happen if the person keeps disappearing from your life every time one of their options surfaces again.
3. They’re not ready to commit
Another possibility is that the person isn’t ready to commit to a relationship.
Maybe they just want to be single and have fun.
Suppose they aren’t ready to make sacrifices, take the relationship to the next level, handle the responsibilities of being in a relationship, and dive into a serious one.
In that case, they’ll keep coming back into your life.
You should give them some space and time once you see that they aren’t ready or willing to commit.
Maybe they just need some time away from you to get their priorities straight in life.
Maybe if you give them time and put distance between yourself, they’ll realize what they really want in life and love.
4. They could be your soulmate
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it may be because they’re your soulmate.
The concept of a soulmate is often romanticized, but the term can apply to close friends, family members, and even pets that foreshadow essential relationships in life.
Soulmates are the people you meet who feel like home—they aren’t necessarily your significant other.
Soulmates can come into your life to teach you lessons with lasting impact or to help you recognize your greatest strengths and weaknesses.
Soulmates are known for their unmatched chemistry and their ability to finish each other’s sentences.
A soulmate is someone whose way of viewing life mirrors yours but at the same time makes up for where you lack.
The relationship can be so intense that it feels like an obsession or a connection that goes beyond words.
Most importantly, a soulmate’s presence inspires self-growth in ways no one else’s could.
The relationship between two soulmates grows stronger over time.
While having a soulmate may seem like a beautiful thing, there is also another side to this relationship that must not be overlooked: how much this person means to you and how difficult it is to let go when things end.
A soulmate will stick by your side through thick and thin; when they leave, they take part of who you are with them—and never quite let go of what remains of their grasp on yourself either.
It’s easy to say goodbye in these situations because both parties know just how much they mean one another.
5. They’ve run out of options
If someone you’ve been close to keeps coming back into your life, they don’t have many options and know they can depend on you.
You’re a safety net if their real plans don’t work out.
They know that you will never turn them away because of loyalty and residual feelings.
It doesn’t matter how much it hurts or how much it pains you to hear from them again—you would rather be their backup plan than not have them at all.
However, this isn’t doing either of you any favors. If this is the case, then there is no future for the two of you.
6. They don’t want you to be with someone else
If an ex keeps popping up in your life, there’s a good chance that they still have feelings for you and want to get back together.
When someone keeps doing something that upsets you, it’s important to sit them down and talk about it.
Boundaries are an essential part of all this, especially when they keep recurring back into your life.
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it’s not always because of feelings, but they don’t want you to be taken by someone else.
7. They’re not looking for something serious
If someone keeps coming back into your life, it could be that they want the best of both worlds – something casual with no obligations.
If they’re not looking for something serious, it means they don’t want to commit to you and they want to keep their options open so that if something better comes along, they can go after it without any problems.
They may also feel as though it’s easier to string you along instead of ending things because at least then they know someone will always be there for them if things don’t work out with anyone else.
8. They’re only physically attracted to you
Perhaps they are only physically attracted to you, which is the driving factor when someone keeps coming back into your life.
This isn’t a good thing, as it suggests that you’re not compatible in other ways.
They probably don’t want to get to know you for who you really are and aren’t interested in starting a serious relationship with you.
You may be a placeholder until someone better comes along or just a good lay.
This is an unfortunate reason, but it doesn’t mean that the person is taking advantage of your interest in them.
They simply might not know how to say “Hey, I just want physical intimacy from this relationship.”
9. They’re not over you
Although this person may be genial or even affectionate, there’s an undercurrent of sadness.
It’s likely they’re just not over you and are experiencing difficulty letting go. It could be that they’ve accepted the relationship is over but haven’t processed their feelings.
They might even still harbor hopes of getting back together with you.
On the other hand, some people will keep coming back into your life to convince themselves that their feelings for you have faded away.
Another scenario when someone keeps coming back into your life is that this person has recently left a long-term relationship and wants to feel desirable again by making advances on a former lover.
This can be flattering, but it can also leave your head spinning if you’re already in another relationship yourself.
10. They seek validation from you
There’s a reason why they keep coming back into your life; something is missing in their life, and they seek validation from you.
It could be that they’re seeking validation that they’re still attractive.
It could be that they’re seeking validation that they can still have you.
It could be that they’re seeking assurance that you still want them, or it could be some other form of validation.
The thing about such people is, oftentimes, if you validate them and show them the attention they desire from you, it’s going to lead to a lot of problems for both of you.
11. They like to feel in control
The desire for control can also be about power, especially if your relationship is unhealthy.
If you know someone who has an obsession with control and dominance, they might want to remain on good terms post-breakup so that they can exert control over you even after the relationship has ended.
An ex’s ongoing presence will likely cause anxiety if there are unresolved issues between you—issues that could be created or exacerbated by a dominant personality’s desire to maintain their grasp on the situation.
12. They like the adrenaline and rush
This might be the most painful interpretation, but it’s also a valid explanation.
If someone you care about keeps coming back into your life, they likely feel some attachment to you.
They might not want to be in a relationship with you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you at all anymore.
It could be that they still have feelings for you but can’t fully commit to anything serious right now for any number of reasons (because of work, family issues, or financial problems).
You might think that this person is trying to manipulate you or give them attention when they need it and ignore you when they don’t have time for a relationship.
But remember: these are real people, not children who need direction—they’re adults who know exactly what they’re doing, so there’s no point in getting angry at them or trying to make them stay or go.
All you can do is take care of yourself and make sure your needs are being met.
You cannot control anyone else’s emotional state; the only person whose actions and thoughts are yours to change is yourself.
13. They regret initiating the breakup
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it could mean that they regret their decision to initiate the breakup.
Specifically, this is when someone in a long-term relationship with you ended things and kept coming back.
This person likely did not expect you to move on so quickly and easily.
They probably thought you would still be dwelling on them, and they would swoop in as a savior after a few months of distance.
When this didn’t happen, they started missing you, they realize they still care about you, but they might not be ready to admit that yet.
14. They can’t find someone better
This could be because they haven’t found someone better.
If this is the case, then it looks like you’re going to have to find a new way to push them away for good.
Maybe it’s because there isn’t anyone else out there that compares to you.
After all, the one thing that always brings them back to you is how amazing and wonderful you are as a person.
Just keep holding on until they’ve realized how lucky they are.
15. They’re afraid of being alone
Sometimes, people come back into your life because they are afraid of being alone.
They don’t necessarily want to be with you, but they fear the thought of being on their own.
If you find yourself in this position, it’s essential to set boundaries with them so that you don’t get caught up in this fear as well and end up back together for the wrong reasons.
When you do set these boundaries, make sure that you’re not afraid of being alone yourself.
Be aware of your own needs and wants from the relationship and make sure not to compromise them just because your ex says they’re afraid of being alone.
Things You SHOULD and Should NOT Do When Someone Keeps Coming Back Into Your Life
When someone keeps coming back into your life, don’t immediately reconcile or get back together with them.
Granted that this is the first and most common mistake people tend to make, refrain from doing this.
Otherwise, you’re getting sucked into a giant mess that you already got out of.
It’s not advisable to be with them again if their intentions are not pure and genuine.
Especially if it’s one of the reasons stated above, you need to be wise and stand your ground.
There is one exception to this – if you genuinely believe they’re your soulmate.
We’re talking about the feeling that your souls recognize and mirror one another and it feels like a connection beyond this world.
How Do You Let Go Of Someone Who Keeps Coming Back Intro Your Life?
If you want to let go of someone who keeps coming back into your life, try to avoid that person or make sure you’re always in someone else’s company.
Additionally, keep yourself busy by doing things you enjoy so you don’t think about the person as much.
Alternatively, talk to the person about your feelings and tell them that you need some time apart.
You may find it difficult to let go of someone who keeps coming back into your life.
If this is the case for you, try making sure you can’t contact them when they aren’t around.
This includes unfollowing them on social media and deleting their phone number from your phone.
If Someone Is Meant To Be In Your Life, Will They Come Back?
People enter and leave our lives for different reasons.
Some people are only supposed to stay for a short period of time.
Maybe you were meant to help them through something or vice versa.
Others are meant to stay for a longer period of time; maybe even forever.
Some people think that if someone is supposed to be in their lives, they will always stay there and never leave their side.
That is not how it works, though.
If you really think about it, some people are only in your life for a short period because you need them more than they need you at the moment.
Once their purpose is served and you no longer need them, they leave.
However, once your situation changes and you need them again, they will come back into your life at the exact moment when you need them most.
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it’s often for a bigger purpose than both of you realize.
5 When Someone Keeps Coming Back Into Your Life Quotes
“Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.” – Jodi Picoult
“If God allowed me to choose, I would still choose you.” – Unknown
“Don’t be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning.” – Unknown
“Everyone comes into your life for a reason, whether it’s only for a season or even if it’s for a lifetime.” – Unknown
“Sometimes two people have to fall apart in order to realize how much they need each other.” – Unknown
When someone keeps coming back into your life, it can be for a variety of reasons.
While some might be negative, such as them being lonely or not over you, others could be positive signals that they may be your soulmate or that they’ve finally run out of options.
No matter the reason, it’s important to pay attention and discern what the other person is trying to communicate.
If you’re lucky enough to have someone keep coming back into your life, don’t take their presence for granted.
Appreciate the opportunity you have been given and cherish the time you spend together.
I’m a full-time freelance writer with a love for writing self-improvement, relationships, mental health, and lifestyle articles. Check out my other articles here on Subconscious Servant, or also Thought Catalog (that’s where I express myself in a more creative form ✨).