We’ve all experienced pain and heartbreak, one way or another.
There’s always the possibility of hurting one another in a relationship, especially when your relationship becomes a breakup.
He can hurt you, but you can also hurt him back unintentionally.
So when you do really hurt him, this can feel just as devastating as being hurt – sometimes even more.
You loved him with your entire being so really, hurting him is the last thing you want to do.
However, it’s going to happen, especially when you break up.
In this scenario, most probably you broke up with him, but it’s also highly possible that he broke up with you because of the unbearable pain you caused.
In this article, we’ll be talking about the signs you really hurt him and how you can make it better.
11 Signs You Really Hurt Him
1. He doesn’t want to see you
One of the signs you really hurt him is when he doesn’t want to see you.
He comes up with every excuse in the book not to cross paths with you or see you entirely.
Similar to how you avoid someone who hurt you, the same goes for him.
He might’ve stopped going to the places you used to hang out, just in case you’re also there.
He doesn’t want to bump into you accidentally, so he avoids any scenario or situation he might be forced to see you.
Also, if you directly ask him to see you and he ditches every time and stops talking to you altogether, chances are you hurt him pretty badly.
The idea of seeing you causes him pain, so he’d rather not endure that, at least not again.
2. He ignores you whenever you’re around
Similar to not wanting to see you, he also ignores your existence entirely if you hurt him pretty badly.
He knows he can’t bear the pain of seeing you, given you broke his heart.
So if the circumstance arises and he really can’t do anything about being in the same room as you, he chooses to ignore you altogether.
If you even try to speak with him or engage in a conversation, he’ll just ignore you.
Even as you’re standing beside him. He won’t show signs he’s aware of your existence.
This indifference is one of the evident signs you really hurt him.
No matter how many months or years you’ve been together, he’s stone-cold when you’re around – and that’s just how badly you hurt him.
3. He stopped dating entirely
When you’re looking for the signs you really hurt him, it’s when he stops dating entirely.
You hurt him so badly that he doesn’t want anything to do with love or experience it again.
When anyone has been hurt terribly by the person they love most, they start to withdraw from love and refrain from experiencing it again.
So when he refuses to date and hasn’t dated for a significant period, he’s still hurt by your relationship and by you.
You broke his heart, and he doesn’t want to feel that way ever again, at least for a significant period.
The only way to avoid feeling that is to keep love at arm’s length altogether.
In other words, he has an immense fear that another girl will hurt him the same way you did. \
He just doesn’t want history to repeat itself.
4. He gets into a lot of rebound relationships
On the contrary, he would likely get into multiple rebound relationships to regain a sense of control and power.
Being hurt by you felt out of control for him, so he wants to regain power by getting into many flings.
So there are two ways he shows he’s been hurt pretty badly by you – when he stops dating entirely and when he gets into rebound relationships.
If it’s the latter, you might see him dating multiple girls, none of which he’ll commit himself to.
Again, he’s scared of the same thing happening, so he wants to be pulling the strings this time around.
The fact you hurt him makes him think he needs to be the one in control to avoid feeling that way again, which is why he gets into fling after fling.
After all, they say the best way to get over someone is to find someone new.
5. He deletes you from his socials
Another one of the signs you really hurt him is when he deletes you from his socials.
Again, he can’t tolerate seeing you, and this applies even to social media.
He doesn’t want a reminder of the pain you caused in his life, and he can only gain inner peace by deleting or blocking you from his socials.
This might seem harsh, but he knows it’s the only way he can stop being hurt by you, even from miles away.
He knows that even seeing a single post from you will bring back all the memories, both the good and bad ones.
He’s trying to prevent that by deleting you from his socials entirely.
He might even delete your pictures together to help him move past the heartbreak and pain you’ve caused.
6. He posts depressing posts about you
Since he’s already blocked and deleted you from his socials, you probably won’t be seeing any of his posts. However, they’ll reach you anyway.
An indicator you’ve hurt him pretty badly is when you’re all over his socials.
Just like we tend to tweet and post whenever we’ve been hurt, the same goes for him.
Especially if you really did break his heart into a million pieces, this is inevitable.
Social media will be his release for all the pain and devastation you’ve caused in his life.
This is how he lets go of all difficult feelings like heartbreak, loss, and pain.
7. He drinks too much
It’s a general fact that drinking can generally help us manage our pain.
Even if it’s not necessarily a healthy way to manage our pain, it’s normal.
If you’re looking for the signs you really hurt him, this is one of them.
If he drinks too much, it’s to forget how much pain you’ve caused in his life.
Especially if he was just the type to drink a few beers on a night out, this indicates you’ve hurt him that badly.
So if he’s basically drowning himself with vodka shots to forget about you, there’s your answer if you’ve hurt him or not.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with drinking, as we all need a night to unwind.
However, if he’s drinking excessively, it could be to forget about the pain you’ve caused.
For him, drinking acts as the escape he needs from his difficult feelings.
8. He can’t hide his anger
Anger is one of the five stages of grief, and this applies even in a breakup. Even if you successfully converse with him, his anger will be so evident.
He might be passing it off as passive-aggressiveness, sarcastic remarks, or being condescending, but you can hear the anger in his voice.
This is because you’ve hurt him pretty badly.
No matter how much he tries to hide it, the anger in his voice is evident with everything he says to you.
There’s a lack of warmth and affection in his voice, unlike how he used to talk to you when you were still together.
With an emotion as powerful as anger, this speaks volumes as one of the signs you really hurt him.
9. He talks badly about you
When a breakup is still fresh and you haven’t healed from it yet, you will tend to speak badly about your ex.
This is precisely what he’s doing when you’ve hurt him terribly.
He can’t see anything good because, in this moment, the bad outweighs the good.
His emotions are a huge mess, so he can’t help but focus on your flaws during the span of your relationship.
Maybe it’s how you never helped with the dishes or how you never prioritized him.
He will focus on those imperfections.
Don’t take it personally when he puts the weight of the blame on you because right now, his anger is the most prominent emotion he feels.
After all, you hurt him terribly, and the pain still feels fresh.
10. He drunk calls you
We’ve all made the mistake of drunk calling our ex – something we would never think of doing when sober.
If he drunk calls you, it’s not so much a proclamation of love as it is telling you how much you’ve hurt him.
He might even call you names and enumerate the things you did to him.
He’ll let you know that you’re a terrible and heartless person for hurting him the way you did.
Even if he says all these things to you, don’t take it personally.
Don’t use it as an opportunity to attack him and say bad things back.
He feels so much anger and resentment towards you that he can’t control what he says.
This is him trying to process his emotions further and trying to move on in his own way.
Even if what he’s showing is a bit irrational and impulsive, let him be.
Especially since you hurt him badly, just give him breathing room to feel whatever it is he feels.
11. He keeps himself busy
Keeping himself busy is another one of the evident signs you really hurt him.
This means that he doesn’t want to feel whatever he’s feeling, and the best way to do that is to get busy.
Whether it’s hitting the gym, working, constantly going out, what matters is that he keeps himself busy.
This is his way of shutting off his emotions so if you notice that he’s keeping himself busy more than usual, it’s because of how much you hurt him.
Especially if you know he’s not known for being that much of a productive person, he’s keeping busy for the sake of shutting every ounce of his thoughts and emotions.
After all, heartbreak really is that devastating.
So it’s not surprising that he wants to keep moving and keep himself busy just to forget everything he feels regarding your relationship.
How To Make It Better After Hurting Him
Assuming that you want to stay broken up but you want to end things on a good note, the best thing you can do is give him time and space.
The more you smother him with attention, the more he’s going to remember the pain and devastation you caused.
Even if you’re just trying to comfort him because you feel bad, it will do the exact opposite.
So if you want to make it better after you hurt him, the best thing is to leave him alone.
The pain still feels fresh and right now, he doesn’t want anything to do with you.
However, like all things in life, he will eventually get to the point where seeing you or even talking to you won’t hurt as much anymore.
You can also try giving him closure if that’s what he needs to accept the breakup and why things had to end.
Whatever the reason you had to hurt him, reassure him why things couldn’t work out the way he wanted to.
Explain your side of things, and this can help him see that hurting him was the last thing you wanted to do.
Make him see that if there were a choice in not hurting you the way you did, you would’ve taken that route.
Also, take accountability for hurting him.
There’s a saying that says if someone says you hurt them, you don’t get to convince them you didn’t.
Accept your fault in the matter and validate their feelings.
That is if you’re really serious about making it better after hurting him.
If you do want to get back together after hurting him, that takes more effort and consistency on your end.
You were the one who hurt him, so the weight of the responsibility to fix things falls entirely on you.
Thank you, I hope you found this article on the signs you really hurt him bad helpful. Feel free to leave a comment and also check out one of the posts below.
❤️ Related Posts:
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- 11 Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up
I’m a full-time freelance writer with a love for writing self-improvement, relationships, mental health, and lifestyle articles. Check out my other articles here on Subconscious Servant, or also Thought Catalog (that’s where I express myself in a more creative form ✨).