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Identifying Remorse: 21 Signs He Is Sorry For Hurting You

Identifying Remorse: 21 Signs He Is Sorry For Hurting You

Relationships are the most beautiful thing we can experience as it’s filled with so much love and bliss.

While we want the person we date to be the one we’re with for eternity, that doesn’t always happen. 

Just love relationships can be filled with so much bliss, it can also be filled with so much pain when things go sour.

Breakups and fights are normal, but that doesn’t make things easier to deal with. 

No matter if you already broke up or had an argument, it can be tricky to tell if he’s sorry for hurting you.

What we see isn’t always what deciphers the truth. 

In this article, we’ll be talking about the signs he is sorry for hurting you. 

Table of Contents

What Are The Signs He's Sorry For Hurting You?

Image of man showing he sorry for hurting you

1. He doesn’t rush you to forgive him 

You’ll know the difference in someone’s sincerity by the way they don’t try to rush things.

If he apologizes and doesn’t try to push you to forgive him right away, his intentions are honest. 

He’s not pressuring you to do something you aren’t ready for because he cares about you and owns up to his mistakes.

Whatever he did, he knows he disappointed you and hurt you pretty badly, and he can’t turn things around just like that. 

He doesn’t rush you as he doesn’t want you to be forced to forgive just because you feel obligated to.

He wants you to also do it out of the genuineness of your own heart. 

He knows that relieving him of his guilt should be the last thing you should be thinking about right now.

If you’re looking for signs he is sorry for hurting you, watch how he validates your feelings and pain by not pushing you to forgive him immediately. 

A patient man is one who really cares about you. 

2. He’s changed 

They say changed behavior is the best apology, and this is an accurate fact.

So if he’s doing his best to change his ways, it’s because he’s genuinely sorry. 

He knows words on their own aren’t enough to apologize for what he did, and he’s trying to show you he won’t repeat the same mistake again.

Changed behavior is the best apology he can give you to assure you that he’ll do everything in his capability to earn your forgiveness. 

He is sorry for hurting you when you see that he’s not trying to repeat the same mistake again.

The thing is, guys are often good with words without backing up with their actions. 

So saying sorry isn’t challenging for them, but changing their behavior and becoming better is. 

3. He communicates effectively 

Image of effective communication as a sign he is sorry for hurting you

Guys aren’t exactly known for their effective communication skills, so if he talks to you about his past mistakes, he’s genuine about disappointing and hurting you.

Communication is vital for any relationship, so if he’s willing to make himself vulnerable and transparent even with his flaws and mistakes, that’s how you know he means his apology. 

We don’t often like showing our most significant flaws and quirks to people.

If he opens himself to you, he’s trying to show he wants to fix things with you. 

He knows the only way conflict will be resolved is by talking about it, even if it makes him uncomfortable.

He talks about his feelings, his mistakes, and what went wrong when communicating with you, and that’s how you know he means his apology with every fiber of his being. 

4. He tries to meet you halfway

When a man tries to meet you halfway when he’s trying to apologize, he’s being sincere.

Most people won’t even bother changing their behavior or compromising to make the other person happy. 

If he tries to meet you halfway in the things you want, even if it means going out of his way for you, his intentions are genuine.

He wouldn’t go through all this effort if he wasn’t honest in his apologies. 

When you and your partner argue, it will likely put a strain and tension in your relationship that wasn’t there before.

Things may probably go sour because of this, so he’s trying to make up for it by showing you he’s not all words. 

He prioritizes you, compromises for you, spends time with you, and changes his actions to show you he’s sorry for disappointing and hurting you. 

5. He reassures you

Even as the best reassurance comes from actions and not words, it’s still a great feeling to hear apologies in the form of words.

One of the evident signs he is sorry for hurting you is when he reassures you that he’ll be better and he won’t repeat the same mistakes again. 

Of course, you shouldn’t just rely on words alone, so if he reassures you and backs it up with his actions, you can be sure his intentions are genuine.

He never makes you forget or doubt for a second if his apology is sincere by reassuring you. 

Especially when you know he’s not the type of guy who reassures you in a typical setting, the fact that he’s trying to go out of his comfort zone just to apologize means he cares that much about you.

He doesn’t want to prolong your pain or disappointment any longer. 

6. He doesn’t try to change your feelings 

Image showing validation as a sign he is sorry for hurting you

When a man isn’t genuine in any form whatsoever, he will try to convince you that you shouldn’t be hurt or disappointed.

What’s worse is that he might invalidate your feelings for being hurt over such a minor or small thing when it probably meant a big deal for you. 

So one of the evident signs he is sorry for hurting you is when he doesn’t try to change your feelings in any way but accepts them as they are.

He knows you have every right to be angry, and he shouldn’t be telling you how he feels. 

When he validates your feelings and thoughts in every way, he’s genuine about his apology and cares about you a lot.

He knows trying to dictate how you feel will push you further away from him, which is the precise opposite of what he wants. 

7. He takes accountability 

This is such an important one regarding the signs he is sorry for hurting you. He won’t run away from taking accountability for his mistakes.

He knows what he did wrong, and he won’t try to run away from admitting his faults and errors. 

His intentions are sincere and he won’t prove that by gaslighting you, playing the victim, or denying his fault in the matter.

Accountability is a word not many people like, so the fact that he’s taking accountability for his mistakes shows just how serious he is with his apology for you. 

8. He tries to make you happy 

You will know he’s genuinely sorry when he desperately tries to make you happy.

Whether it’s giving you small gifts of appreciation, complimenting you, or anything really to make you happy, he doesn’t hesitate to do so. 

This is one of the signs he is sorry for hurting you, as he doesn’t hold back from making you happy.

He tries harder to make you happy than usual because he’s trying to make up for the fact he hurt and disappointed you. 

9. He listens attentively

Man showing he is sorry by listening attentively

Being a great listener is one of the evident signs he is sorry for hurting you.

When he listens, he cares about everything you feel and what you have to say. 

In comparison to someone who isn’t sorry or just pretending to look sorry, he’ll pretend to listen, but your words are mindlessly passing through him.

You’ll know he’s listening when he remembers the important details of what you’re saying and through his body language. 

If his body is leaning towards you, he’s asking questions or is engaging in eye contact, his ears are open for you.

He wants to be better for you and in order to do that, he knows he has to be a better listener and communicator. 

10. He shows remorse and regrets his actions

Remorse and regret are vital signs that he is truly sorry for hurting you.

When someone is remorseful, they feel deep sorrow, regret their actions, and recognize the harm they have caused.

When he is genuinely sorry for hurting you, he will show this through his words and actions.

He may express his regret through a sincere apology and demonstrate his remorse through his body language and facial expressions.

He may also try to make amends for his actions and take steps to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future.

It's important to note that remorse and regret are not the same as guilt, which can be self-centered and focused on the consequences for the person who caused the harm.

When someone is truly sorry for hurting you, they will focus on their actions' impact on you and take responsibility for their behavior.

11. He makes a genuine and sincere apology

It's not just about saying the words “I'm sorry.” It's the sincerity behind those words.

When someone has truly hurt you and is sorry for it, they will make a genuine apology.

This means that the apology isn't just about getting forgiveness or making themselves feel better; it's an acknowledgment of their wrongdoings and an expression of how badly they regret their behavior.

A genuine apology will be sincere, thoughtful, and heartfelt. He will acknowledge his wrongdoing without making excuses or blaming anyone else.

He will take responsibility for what he did wrong and express genuine remorse over his actions.

When he apologizes he will also be willing to make amends and work on changing his behavior going forward.

12. He makes an effort to understand your perspective and how his actions impacted you

Couple talking

“It is only when we truly understand someone else's experiences that we can make an effort to sympathize and begin to repair any damage done.” – Unknown

Another sign that he is truly sorry for hurting you is that he'll make an effort to understand your perspective and how his actions impacted you.

When someone takes the time to put themselves in your shoes, it shows that they really care about how their behavior has affected you.

They will take the time to understand why what they did was wrong and will be willing to listen and learn from you.

They may also take the initiative to ask questions or do research in order to gain a better understanding of your viewpoint.

This shows that he is sorry and wants to make sure his behavior won't cause any more pain or harm going forward.

13. He shows you he is committed to not repeating the same behavior in the future

When he actively tries not to repeat a specific harmful behavior that is a telling sign that he cares and is sorry for hurting you.

He will make a conscious effort to break any negative patterns he may have and take the necessary steps to ensure that he won't hurt you again.

He may even discuss specific strategies or techniques with you to help him avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Also, he may also be open to your suggestions regarding how best to move forward.

Something to note, however, is that this takes time and effort on both of your parts.

Even though he is committed to not repeating the same behavior in the future that hurt you, he may still mess up.

If this happens, recognize that he is human and make sure to show him grace and understanding.

14. He is open and transparent with you about his feelings and actions

Another sign he is sorry for hurting you is that he will be open and transparent with his feelings and actions. 

He will be honest about what happened, why it happened, and how it made him feel. 

He also won't shy away from difficult conversations or try to hide anything from you. Instead, he will be willing to talk openly about what happened and take responsibility for his behavior.

This kind of transparency clearly indicates that he genuinely cares and wants to make things right with you. 

When someone is actually sorry, they will be open, honest, and vulnerable to try and fix the relationship. 

By demonstrating these behaviors, your partner shows you that he takes responsibility for his actions and values your feelings. 

This level of emotional maturity shows deep care and concern, which clearly reveals that he is sorry for hurting you.

15. He shows patience and understanding and gives space to heal

Man showing a sign he sorry for hurting someone by looking sad and giving space to heal

One sign that a man is truly sorry for hurting you is if he gives you the time and space to process your feelings and work through the situation.

He shows that he understands the gravity and effect of his actions by being patient with you as you grapple with them.

He does not try to rush your healing or impose any kind of timeline for it.

Instead, he respects your need for privacy and allows you to take whatever time necessary without judgment.

This demonstrates a deep compassion on his part, which could be indicative of his genuine regret over what he has done.

16. He takes steps to make amends for his actions

No amount of words can ever truly make up for the hurt and pain he has caused you, but one of the sure signs that he is sorry for what he did to you is when he starts taking steps to make amends.

Whether that means making a genuine apology or trying to show his commitment by taking practical steps to repair the damage done, these efforts clearly show remorse and understanding.

He may attempt to do repairs on something he damaged, ask how he can help alleviate any financial costs caused by his actions or offer solutions on how he can help mend the broken relationship between you two.

Taking concrete action in expressing his regret indicates that his emotions and feelings are still present, and it shows that he wants to right whatever wrongs were done.

17. He is open to compromise and finding ways to move forward in a healthy and positive way

One of the strongest signs that he is genuinely sorry for hurting you is when he demonstrates an openness to compromise and finding ways to move forward in a healthy, positive manner.

This could involve him creating a plan of action or communication methods that will help prevent arguments or misunderstandings from happening again in the future.

He may be willing to make changes to his own behavior in order to meet you somewhere halfway when it comes to solving issues between the two of you.

It takes courage for someone to fully admit fault and accept responsibility for their actions, but when he does take those steps it serves as evidence that he recognizes what was wrong and is ready to start rebuilding trust with you.

18. He listens carefully and respectfully to your concerns without interruption or judgemental comments

Ma listening carefully and respectfully to his girlfriend

This is an important step for him to take, as it shows respect for your side of the story and acknowledges that his actions may have been wrong or at least disagreeable to you.

When he listens carefully to what you have to say, it demonstrates interest in seeking understanding and resolution rather than just trying to be ‘right' or win an argument.

It also goes a long way in terms of allowing healing between two people after an incident has occurred.

In many cases, simply being heard can be enough for someone to start feeling better about the situation – which should always be the goal if we’re striving towards healthy relationships!

19. He is willing to sacrifice something important to show genuine care

When he sacrifices something important in order to demonstrate his regret, it shows that he's willing to go beyond just saying an apology – he actually wants to make amends for what happened. 

This could be anything from giving up a hobby or canceling a favorite activity to being available for extra conversations about the issue or foregoing a trip or luxury item in favor of spending time with you.

These kinds of gestures can be powerful indicators that he is serious about showing his remorse and wants to make up for the hurt he has caused.

Whatever form it takes, it demonstrates that he regrets his actions and wants to start anew with your relationship.

20. He becomes more caring, understanding, and attentive in your relationship

If he is truly sorry for hurting you he will be more caring, understanding, and attentive.

This is shown by him doing something such as taking the time to talk through your feelings, getting to know them better, and then striving to adjust his behaviors accordingly.

He may also show extra care and attentiveness in small ways, such as offering to help with tasks when needed, or bringing you a snack if you’re feeling down.

Little actions can go a long way in expressing his care for you, and those sincere efforts can often bring both of you closer together despite the hurt he may have caused in the past.

21. He doesn't make excuses for his behavior or try to deflect blame

One of the most telling signs that he is sorry is that he doesn’t attempt to make excuses for his behavior or try to deflect blame onto anyone else.

Instead, he takes full responsibility for the hurt caused, not trying to minimize it or justify it in any way.

This shows that he recognizes the impact of what he did and is willing to accept any consequences needed to make things right.

By not making excuses or shifting blame, he shows an understanding of what he did wrong—and a willingness to own up to it without trying to pass the buck on to someone else.

That’s why this type of sincerity can be so important in any apologetic situation; if someone tries to mitigate their mistakes by externalizing blame, it indicates a lack of remorse or responsibility on their part.

5 Red Flags That Show He Is Not Really Sorry For Hurting You

Image showing he is not sorry for hurting you

1. He doesn’t honestly know why he is saying sorry 

It’s frankly easy to say the words, ‘I’m sorry” without actually meaning it.

Those two words can easily be empty words, so you can tell he’s sincere with his apology when he gives specifics. 

Be wary if he’s invalidating your feelings through an apology.

Maybe he’s saying he’s sorry because you’re upset or because he hurt you, but he doesn’t really see an issue with his actions. 

You can see right off the bat why and how this is a red flag.

If he doesn’t know why he’s apologizing or he’s doing it just for the sake of argument, he isn’t sorry about hurting you. 

He’ll probably make the same mistake again since he doesn’t see an error in his ways.

He’s completely blinded why he has to apologize, and he’s just saying the two words you wanted to hear to be seen as either a good partner or to end the fight. 

2. He makes it about him

When he makes it all about him instead of you, he’s far from sorry.

He needs to have empathy when his intentions are pure, and the fact that his narcissistic and self-absorbed ways are showing reflects the sincerity behind his apology.

If he inserts himself in your scenario and tells you how you should feel because that’s how he felt when he went through something similar, that’s not a genuine apology.

You need an apology that makes it evident he cares about your feelings and thoughts and what triggered you to be upset because of it. 

You don’t need him to tell you how you should feel and basically invalidate every ounce of your thoughts. That is the opposite of him showing his regrets. 

3. He buys his apologies 

Image showing false gestures as a sign he is not sorry for hurting you

You need to be very careful about believing grand gestures as apologies.

As romantic and massive it might seem, he might not even be a single bit genuine about it. 

Especially when he knows he can buy an apology off with flowers and gifts every time, be wary about this.

Even as material gifts can also be a genuine way to say sorry, they can also work against you. 

So it all depends on the person you know him to be.

If he’s never been the materialistic type and he gives you gifts, his apology could be genuine and it’s him saying he’s sorry and wants to be better. 

However, if he has been buying gifts for you before in every apology, you already know what this means.

After all, it’s easier to spend money on flowers than it is to make the effort of actually changing your behavior and communicating your feelings. 

4. His actions don’t match his words

Actions will always speak louder than words, especially when you’re trying to see his sincerity behind them.

So if he keeps saying he’s sorry and he loves you but his actions show the exact opposite, you know where you stand in his life. 

His apology was clearly all just an act, and he didn’t mean everything.

His body language and actions should be able to show just how much he means his apology. 

Even if he can’t commit to changing right away, he could at least do simple things to show you that he’s trying to become better – both for himself and you.

His actions matching his words is one of the obvious signs he is sorry for hurting you.

5. He wants you to get over it right away 

If there’s anything that’s evidently showing he doesn’t mean his apology, it’s invalidating your feelings.

He doesn’t care about what you feel and why you’re upset. 

He just knows that you are and thinks you’re being dramatic about it.

He’s rushing you to get over whatever you’re feeling, and that’s an obvious way to know he doesn’t care about genuinely apologizing. 

He just cares he said sorry, even if he didn’t mean it.

When a guy is genuine, he should be patient in letting you process your emotions until you aren’t upset anymore. 

The last thing he should be doing is convincing you that your feelings aren’t valid. 

How To Move On After You Know He’s Sorry For Hurting You

Image showing woman moving on after he is sorry

After you know he’s genuine about saying sorry, accept that he already did what he did and move on.

It’s easier said than done, but this is where communication is most vital. 

If you want the relationship to still work after even the most intense argument, communicate how you can gradually fix the relationship back to what it once was.

This is also where you can set proper boundaries so you can see how he’s changing his ways to become better. 

There should be a healthy exchange of communication if you want to move on from the pain and heartbreak caused by him.

However, if you think that the relationship doesn’t stand a chance even after his genuine apology, you can always choose to walk away and end things for good. 

Sometimes, it’s really just better to let go than hurt yourself trying to mend something that’s too damaged. 

Signs He Is Sorry For Hurting You – The Key Takeaway

In conclusion, I hope this article was able to shed insight on everything about the signs he is sorry for hurting you.

You should be able to tell if he’s sincere with the argument or not by his actions, body language, and the way he changes his behavior. 

There’s a saying that says an apology without even a single change is just manipulation.

So if his apology is accompanied by changed behavior and body language, he really is sorry for hurting you. 

He also shouldn’t be invalidating your emotions and thoughts, as that’s the last thing he should be doing if he’s genuinely sorry.

So telling you how you should feel isn’t something he should do if his intentions are genuine. 

Instead, he should be patient in letting you process your emotions and build effective communication with you to make things work.

A relationship isn’t always full of bliss and happiness, as there will also be heartbreak and pain. 

Especially when one hurts the other, it’s essential to learn how to move on from that pain. Whether it’s to fix things or let go of the relationship, it’s entirely up to you. 

Thank you, I hope learning about the signs he is sorry for hurting you has helped you. Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts 🙂

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