11 Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up

by Dorothy Field

A breakup is never easy for anyone, but it’s one of the things we have to experience.

It’s an excruciating pain to break up with someone you thought had real potential in your life. 

No matter who broke up with who, it will always be painful to experience a breakup. You invested your time and energy in someone, only to have it end up in ruins.

Even after the breakup, it feels impossible to survive because the greater the love, the greater the pain.

With this being said, even as it might not be obvious, both parties hurt in a breakup. 

In the following, we’ll be discussing the signs he is hurting after the break up. 

11 Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up

signs he is hurting after the breakup

1. He blocked you from his socials 

The fact that he blocked you means he is hurting after the break up, more than you could possibly know.

It’s not just him wanting not to hear from you at all, but he’s hurting so badly that he doesn’t want any remembrance from you. 

Blocking someone on social media shows negativity and anger, so he’s refusing to want anything to do with you by blocking you altogether.

He doesn’t want anything to do with your social media posts, stories, or anything that’s connected to you. 

After all, you only block your ex when you’re so consumed by hurt and anger that you’re left with no other choice.

Also, he doesn’t want to be updated with your life, just in case you end up dating before him. 

We all want to have the perception of “winning the breakup,” and we can only do that if we have no reminder of our ex whatsoever. 

2. He talks badly about you

This is a pretty evident indicator that he’s hurting after the break up. You see this all the time with an angry ex-boyfriend, trash-talking his ex. 

While this doesn’t reflect a good image of their relationship, it’s a normal part of the process of moving on.

He’s hurting so badly that his source of release is focusing on your bad qualities and quirks. 

It might seem cold-hearted and indifferent, but it’s the exact opposite. It shows all the pain he’s been repressing inside. 

He might blame the relationship on you or how you never deserved his love, and it’s just a way to make himself feel better about the breakup.

Especially when he misses you or is in denial he still loves you, expect one of the signs to talk so harshly about you that it seems like he never cared about you at all. 

However, if you look closer, it’s a desperate attempt to release the heartbreak he’s been feeling. 

3. His habits prove it

showing his habits as a sign he is hurting after the break

There are two kinds of people in a breakup – one who focuses on improving themselves and destroys themselves.

We know just how difficult breakups can be, but that’s not an excuse to engage in self-sabotaging habits. 

So if you see him being more complacent in life, it’s one of the signs he is hurting after the break up.

Whether it’s losing friends, losing the will and motivation to keep moving forward, and falling into a state of depression, these are all indicators he’s more affected about the breakup than you think. 

He can’t find the willpower to keep pushing in his routine, so he ends up in a rut.

We’ve all experienced this one way or another, but his pain is more evident if a significant period has passed and he still hasn’t recovered.

4. He rebounded immediately

While the best way to get over someone is to find someone else, it can be harmful when you do it before you’re ever ready.

So one of the signs he is hurting after a break up is when he immediately seeks a rebound. 

Also, if you notice that he rebounds one girl after another, that’s when you know for sure he’s desperately finding a replacement for you in his life.

It doesn’t matter if it’s not an actual relationship, just as long as it distracts the pain he’s feeling for a while. 

Breakups are tough, especially when you really love the person you were with.

So finding a rebound is a way of dealing with everything you don’t want to feel, including grief and loss. 

5. He’s impulsive

This is pretty typical behavior from anyone going through a breakup, but even more so if they’re hurting.

Impulsive behavior includes anger outbursts, vengeance, smothering you with attention, drunk calling or texting, or even contacting your new partner. 

He can’t control his emotions, especially his pain and heartbreak.

Everything feels too much for him to handle, so he resorts to impulsive and irrational behavior. 

If he’s already the type of person who’s impulsive by nature, this would double or triple when he’s hurting from a breakup.

If he truly was over the breakup and didn’t care at all, there’s no need to grab your attention desperately. 

6. He’s guilty

signs that he is hurting and feeling guilty after the breakup

Guilt is a pretty strong indicator when it comes to a breakup. When spotting signs he’s hurting, watch out for signs of guilt. 

Especially when he cheated on you, betrayed your trust, or mistreated you throughout your relationship, he will try his best to seek forgiveness from you.

He doesn’t see you in a negative light if this is the case – it’s entirely the opposite. 

If he’s guilty, he will check up on you, communicate with you, and do everything for you to forgive him.

After all, guilt is a pretty strong emotion, and it can control you if you aren’t careful. 

So if his guilt is evidently showing in his body language and actions towards you, he’s hurting after the breakup. 

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7. He regressed

This is similar to being impulsive, but his actions go back to how he used to be when he was still single.

So if he ate healthier, worked out, stopped any vices, and became better all because he met you, he will revert to his old ways. 

Instead of going forward, he went backward.

This is proof that your ex regressed, and it’s because he’s hurting badly. 

Since you’re no longer in his life and there isn’t a need to impress you, he’s going back to his old life.

He goes back to his self-destructive habits because he’s so consumed with missing you. 

8. He’s having difficulty expressing his feelings

Men generally find it more challenging to express what they feel than women do. So it’s harder to express for them, especially their difficult and dark emotions. 

So they end up coming across as indifferent or cold-hearted because of this.

He may isolate the people he loves when he’s hurting after the breakup. 

Even if he doesn’t mean to, he pushes everyone away because of this isolation.

He puts on a facade and avoids talking about you whenever he’s in social situations. 

It hurts too much to talk about you, and he ends up repressing his emotions entirely. So he hides in distractions like excessive drinking, video games, sex, or even working too much. 

He’d rather drown himself distraction after distraction than have to face reality without you in his life. 

9. He doesn’t get into any fling or relationship after

showing a sign that he is hurting after the break up

After a significant period has passed, it’s typical to get yourself out there and date someone new.

Contrary to the earlier point we’ve mentioned on having one rebound after another, this is the complete opposite. 

When a guy doesn’t have any flings or relationships in a couple of months to years, he’s definitely more hurt about the breakup than you thought.

When we enter a relationship with someone, we’re investing our time and energy into them. 

It can be scary to be vulnerable and open yourself up to someone again.

However, if he never even attempted, it’s one of the signs he is hurting after the break up. 

He’s a little bit traumatized by the breakup that he never bothered to put himself out there again.

Even if girls are attracted to him, he doesn’t take the bite. 

10. He talks to your mutual friends

If you have any mutual friends, this is one way to find out if he has any lingering feelings of pain on the breakup.

If he still talks to them as if you were still together, he’s trying to get an update on how you are and how things have been for you. 

It’s a subtle way of lurking yet trying to get any form of access to you.

He doesn’t try to cut them off and never speaks to them again, like a guy who doesn’t care will do. 

Instead, he’ll use this to his advantage and keep his lines open for your mutual friends. 

11. He comes up with excuses to talk to you

Contrary to the first point in this list, he can also act the opposite way. He will come up with any excuse just to communicate with you. 

Maybe it’s picking up his things at your place or accidentally dialing your number.

Of course, these are all just excuses to talk to you and communicate with you. 

Even as this is one of the signs he is hurting after the break up, it’s also a desperate attempt to stay within touch with you.

He just can’t stay away because of how badly the breakup hurts. 

❤️ Related Post: How To Get Over Your Soulmate (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Possible)

Do You Need To Do Anything if He’s Hurting After The Breakup? 

showing what to do after seeing the  signs he is hurting after the breakup

The thing is, you broke up for a reason, and you need to remember that reason before you start going soft on him.

He’ll always have a piece of your heart, which means it will be easy for you to get back together again or do something you might regret if you let your guard down. 

The best thing you can give him is closure so that you can help him accept that your relationship is over and provide him with the answers he seeks.

The closure will help him move forward in his life and accept that your part in his life is over. 

If he’s hurting, the only thing you can give him is answers but beyond that, it’s no longer your responsibility.

You’re not his girlfriend anymore, and showing any sign of affection might be mistaken as still having feelings for him. 

Really, time and space is the best thing you can provide for each other during a breakup.

Eventually, both of you will accept that the relationship is over, and he’ll finally be able to move on with his life. 

Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up – Key Takeaway

A breakup is one of the most dreadful things we can experience, but it’s not something we can control.

Relationships fail and break apart, and things don’t always work out the way we want them to. 

All of these signs he is hurting after the break up show that even if his words aren’t telling you his pain, his actions and behaviors do.

People express their pain differently and if there’s anyone who knows him better than anyone else, it’s you. 

It might not be evident right off the bat, but signs like impulsive behavior or blocking you are already reflecting his grief from the end of your relationship.

Again, it’s no longer your job to comfort him, regardless of who did the breaking up. 

The only thing you can do is help him reach a state of acceptance, such as providing him with closure or clear answers about your relationship. 

❤️ Thank you, I hope you enjoyed learning about the signs he is hurting after the break up. Feel free to check out one of the related posts below:

11 Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up11 Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up

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